5 Things I Unwittingly Learned in My 30s (After Making Lots of Mistakes)

I used to believe that turning 30 would bring me clarity, confidence, and a good savings account. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. Instead, I felt stuck in self-doubt, made poor decisions, and spent too much time scrolling through social media, comparing myself to others. I wondered if everyone else had it figured out except me.

A study conducted in 2024 revealed that one in four workers in the UK reported feeling dissatisfied, and one-third are planning to switch careers this year. I wasn’t the only one experiencing uncertainty in my thirties.

But here’s the twist: I learned more from my mistakes than simply checking items off my to-do list. My thirties became less about being perfect and more about accepting the mess. I focused on growing through challenges, finding moments to laugh, and slowly letting go of the pressure to have everything under control.

If you’re in your thirties and feel like you’re just getting by, you’re not alone. Here are five important lessons I wish I had known earlier.

Key Lessons That Hit Harder Than I Expected

Here are the five key lessons that hit harder than I expected:

1. Value Your Time Because No One Else Will

In my twenties, I felt like I had endless time. I said yes to everything – from late nights at work to social events I didn’t enjoy. I thought that working hard led to success. But I did not realise that by not valuing my time, I was telling others it was okay to take it.

In the UK, our work culture often praises being busy – burnout has become something people take pride in. Yet, there’s a big difference between being productive and being overworked. Everything changed when I started to treat my time like money – spending it wisely, protecting it, and using it well.

Practical Tip: Try time-blocking your day or scheduling time to do nothing. It’s also a good idea to say no more often, even when it feels uncomfortable. Something that does not bring your happiness or value may wear you out.

2. Let Friendships Evolve Without Guilt

Friendships in your thirties differ from the close relationships you had as a teenager. I once thought losing friends meant I did something wrong. But the truth is, life changes, and so do people. A friend who was once your intimate might now be someone you follow on social media platforms, and that’s fine.

Letting go of friends doesn’t mean you have lost – you are making space for new bonds. Some of the best friendships I have made happened after I turned 30. These pals share my values rather than just my past experiences.

According to a report from The Independent, one in ten adults in the UK do not have close friends. Middle-aged men aged 55-64 are the most affected, with 15% reporting this. This shows that friendships often change or fade as we get older. It’s important to accept this change instead of feeling embarrassed.

How to Keep Connected: You can join a book club, offer help to someone, or start a conversation at your local gyms or café. Shared interests can lead to real connections.

3. Treating Money Well Is a Form of Self-Love

I once maxed out two credit cards to keep up with my friends. I spent money on dining out, trendy clothes, and quick vacations that looked great on Instagram, but these habits left me in debt. Many people make financial mistakes, especially when they don’t know how to manage their money well.

My turning point was realising that budgeting isn’t merely about saying no – it’s about feeling free. Being able to say, “Yes, I can afford that,” without worrying felt amazing.

Using UK-based apps like Monzo and Emma taught me how to track my spending and set savings goals, even if they were small. My confidence grew because I saved money and finally respected myself.

If you are in your thirties and want to avoid common tax mistakes, PMW – a financial planning firm can help. They point out the top errors people often make so you can stay on track for long-term stability.

4. Listen To Your Body Before It Shouts At You

In your twenties, you can stay up late, enjoy a full English breakfast, and still feel fine. But in your thirties, things change quickly. I ignored the signs – fatigue, poor sleep, slow starts in the morning – until they became more significant issues I couldn’t avoid.

This decade has taught me to listen to my body instead of just pushing through. I began going to bed earlier, keeping regular doctor appointments, and making quick homely meals that didn’t include beans on toast.

What Worked for Me: I began to walk in the morning, drank more water (which sounds boring out is essential), and discovered that Pilates is not just for the wealthy. Start from where you are, not where you think you should be.

5. Detach Your Worth From What You Achieve

In the UK, we grow up with some expectations: finish university by 21, buy a home by 30, get married soon after, and have children by 35. I did not meet most of these goals, and I thought I was a failure for a long time.

A recent survey has shown that over 70% of young adults in the UK think social media negatively impacts their self-esteem. This highlights that several individuals are quietly dealing with unrealistic standards set online.

But here’s the truth: your achievements do not define your worth – what matters is how you feel aligned with your values. I asked better questions when I stopped measuring my value by job titles and home ownership. Am I happy with how I spend my day? Do I treat others well? Am I kind to myself?

Writing in a journal helped me. I went to counseling. Most importantly, learning to accept myself without judgement gave me insights I never had during my busy 20s.

Try This: Think about three personal achievements that make you proud. Then, write down one thing you would do if you weren’t afraid of failing.

Conclusion

Your thirties are not a finish line. They are a time to let go of old goals and discover new ones that suit you better. You might sometimes feel confused, but that’s part of finding clarity.

If you lie awake on a Tuesday, worried you’re falling behind, remember – you’re not. You are growing and changing. You are human, and you are doing better than you think. 

Keep moving forward. Mistakes don’t mean you have failed; they show you are alive, learning, and getting closer to your true self.