How to Make Your Kids Feel Safe and Secure No Matter What

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Every parent wants their child to feel safe and secure, right? It’s kind of our job. But, of course, in the world we live in right now, it is not always so easy to know what to do for the best to achieve that most important aim of parents everywhere.

Life can throw so many curveballs at us, and our children, making it hard for us to keep that feeling of safety and security for them, but does it have to be that way? Not necessarily! Not if you do the following:

Establish a Routine

As a parent, you will undoubtedly know that kids thrive on predictability. Knowing what’s next helps the world feel less chaotic and more manageable, especially for the little ones, which is why having a routine is so vital for their sense of security.

Importance of Routine

A structured day with regular meal times, play times, and bedtimes creates a predictable environment that is immensely comforting to children at any age and stage. It’s like choreography for daily life; everyone knows their steps, which reduces anxiety and can even help mitigate behavioral issues.

Tips for Effective Routines

Start simple. A morning routine might include waking up at the same time, eating breakfast together, and then some free play before it’s time to brush teeth and get dressed. Consistency is key—try to keep these activities at similar times each day so your child knows what to expect. For bedtime, routines might include a bath, storytime, and a few minutes of bedtime chatter about their day.

Create a Safe Physical Space

A child’s surroundings can significantly influence how secure they feel too. So, you are going to want to make sure they have a safe space that is all their own, right?

Comfortable Bedroom

A child’s bedroom should be a haven. It should reflect their personality and interests, filled with their favorite colors, toys, and comfort items like plushies. A well-loved teddy bear or a soft blanket can be a source of immense comfort, not just at bedtime but whenever they need a cuddle.

Safe Play Areas

It’s never a bad idea to designate specific areas in your home where it’s safe for your child to play, free from hazards and where you can easily keep an eye on them. This might be a corner of the living room with a rug and some cushions or a part of their bedroom organized with bins for toys and shelves for books. Ensure these areas are free from sharp corners, breakable items, and small objects that could be a choking hazard.

Encourage Open Communication

Creating a strong communication channel with your child not only helps them to share their feelings but also strengthens your bond and builds trust, which means you can be pretty confident they will come to you with anything that is worrying them in the future.

Daily Check-ins

Try to make it a point to talk to your child every day about how they’re feeling. This doesn’t need to be a formal sit-down—chat during a car ride, while preparing dinner, or when tucking them into bed. Ask them about the best part of their day and if there’s anything they felt sad or scared about.

Teach Emotional Expression

Help your child identify and express their feelings. Use language appropriate for their age to explain emotions, and give them the tools to express themselves. You can do this through books, music, art, or simply by giving examples of expressing your own emotions healthily.

Positive Reinforcement

It’s important to know that the way we respond to our children’s actions significantly impacts their feelings of safety and self-worth.

Praise and Encouragement

Acknowledging your child’s efforts and accomplishments with praise can boost their self-esteem and reinforce a secure attachment to family. This doesn’t mean only praising the end results—acknowledge their effort, resilience, and even small day-to-day activities. Did they tie their shoes on their own? Celebrate it! This consistent validation helps them feel valued and secure.

Reward Systems

Setting up a system that rewards positive behavior can further enhance a child’s feeling of achievement and security. Whether it’s a sticker chart for young children or earning privileges for older kids, rewards can motivate them and give them a tangible sense of progress and control over their environment.

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Teach Safety Skills

Equipping children with the knowledge and skills to handle unsafe situations provides them with confidence and a sense of security, and means they are less likely to come to harm during those times when you cannot be there with them.

Age-Appropriate Skills

From teaching toddlers not to touch hot objects to instructing older children on internet safety, ensure the skills you teach are appropriate for their developmental stage. For instance, you can role-play with preschoolers about what to do if they get lost in a public place, like finding a police officer or going to a store clerk.

Practical Safety Drills

Practice makes perfect, and in the case of emergency drills, practice can also make children feel safer. Conduct regular fire drills, earthquake drills (if you’re in a prone area), or even role-play what to do in case of a stranger danger scenario. Make these drills fun rather than scary, and your child will not only learn important skills but also feel more prepared.

Provide Reassurance During Changes

Changes, whether big or small, can unsettle children. How you support them through these times can affect their sense of security.

Handling Life Changes

Be it moving to a new home, changing schools, or welcoming a new sibling, discuss these changes openly with your child. Explain what they can expect and how these changes might affect them. Allow them to express their feelings and worries about these changes.

Keeping Consistency

During times of significant change, try to keep some elements of your child’s life consistent. If they have a favorite weekly activity, keep it on the schedule. Consistency amidst change can act as an anchor, keeping them grounded.

Monitor Media Consumption

In the age of information overload, what children watch and hear can significantly impact their feelings of security.

Media Effects

Excessive exposure to inappropriate content can increase anxiety and feelings of insecurity in children. Be aware of the shows they watch and the games they play, especially those that might contain violent or disturbing content.

Guidelines for Safe Media Use

Establish rules for media use, like limiting screen time and making sure you’re aware of the content they’re accessing. Encourage viewing and playing in communal areas where you can easily monitor their activities.

Family Bonding Activities

The simple act of spending time together as a family can significantly enhance a child’s feeling of security. Here are some activities that can strengthen family bonds while ensuring everyone has a good time.

Regular Family Time

Set aside specific times each week dedicated to family activities, ensuring that this time is non-negotiable and protected from the intrusion of work or other commitments. Whether it’s a game night, a weekly hike, or cooking a meal together, these regular interactions foster a sense of belonging and safety.

Activity Ideas

• Outdoor Adventures: Plan regular outings to parks, beaches, or trails. The combination of physical activity and nature can be incredibly soothing and grounding for children.
• Crafting Sessions: Engage in arts and crafts projects that allow for creative expression and teamwork.
• Reading Hours: Establish a family reading time where everyone picks a book, or read a story aloud. This nurtures a love for reading while providing a calm and comforting routine.
• Movie Nights: Have a weekly movie night where each family member takes turns choosing the film. Accompany it with popcorn and a cozy blanket for a snug, secure feeling.
• Teach Problem-Solving Skills
• Helping children develop the ability to solve problems enhances their confidence and sense of security.

Role-Playing Scenarios

Use role-playing games to simulate different scenarios where children might need to make decisions or solve problems. This method not only makes learning fun but also prepares them for real-life situations, providing a safe space to explore different outcomes.

Family Discussions

Encourage children to voice their opinions and thoughts during family discussions. This practice shows them that their viewpoints are valued and that they are an important part of family decision-making processes.

Encouraging Independence

While our ultimate goal is to make our children feel safe, teaching them to be independent is equally crucial.

Age-Appropriate Chores

Assign chores that are suitable for their age. Completing tasks and contributing to the household can make children feel capable and confident.

Decision Making

Allow children to make small decisions daily, such as choosing their clothes or planning a weekend activity. This helps them develop critical thinking and judgment skills.

As you can see, creating an environment where children feel safe and secure involves a lot of different steps and some intelligent thinking but at the end of the day, it is not all that difficult to do. Basically, if you nurture your kids, teach them about various threats and how to handle them, and build strong bonds so they will come to you, then you will be doing well.