Last updated on June 15th, 2017 at 09:37 am
I think everyone is guilty of having a vision of what parenting will be like once we have kids. Since we have no experience of what lies ahead, we have these out of this world expectations set for when the baby arrives. In a world that puts so much pressure on parents, each and everyday, it can be twice as hard if you set the bar extremely high for yourselves and feel like a failure when reality sinks in and it’s unreachable. I have learned right from the moment I made a birth plan and it all went out the window that my expectations that everything will run exactly how I want it to, was completely wrong.
Now, as a parent of a 3 and 5 year old, I have seen over the years just how many of my parenting views, goals, and visions were parenting fantasies. The things I thought I would never do, I did. The things I thought that would never happen to me, happened. The things I thought my own children would never do, they did. Parenting isn’t something you can plan, make perfect or run smoothly on a regular basis. We can strive for a certain way of family life but in reality things can go a different direction very quickly without warning.
Here are ten parenting fantasies v.s. realities that I have to admit, I am guilty of all of them.
- FANTASY: My kids eating fresh, organic, home cooked, no sugar food v.s.
REALITY: My kids eating chicken nuggets and french fries with ketchup. - FANTASY: Spending hours creating crafts, playing make-believe, and coloring or drawing v.s.
REALITY: Letting them watch another episode of kids youtube. - FANTASY: Having a clean house, clean outfit on your child, and dressed and ready yourself v.s. REALITY: Toys everywhere, child’s outfit stained with weetabix from breakfast, jam from lunch and ketchup from dinner and that trendy lounge wear with a top knot for your daily fashion style.
- FANTASY: Wanting to have a child that is cultured, into sports and experienced swimmers v.s.
REALITY: How much does it cost for one class? - FANTASY: Thinking you will give Pinterest perfect parties, dinners, and craft projects v.s.
REALITY: A bunch of Pinterest fails that you share on social media for a laugh but crying inside that it really wasn’t as easy as it looks while attending to your child. - FANTASY: Planning on being calm, patient and getting down to your child’s level to explain things v.s.
REALITY: Shouting after calmly telling your child to stop doing what they are doing for the fifteen time. - FANTASY: Everyone cuddling in the bed having a lie in on the weekend v.s.
REALITY: Mommy and Daddy taking turns getting up on the weekends before the sun comes up with the kids. - FANTASY: Making useless rules like no eating in the car that you know you will break v.s.
REALITY: Breaking out a pack of crumbly crackers to keep them quiet in a traffic jam. - FANTASY: During nap-time you will sit and enjoy a hot coffee or maybe nap too v.s.
REALITY: During nap-time you run around doing chores and heating up your morning coffee for the tenth time and forgetting it in the microwave only to find it come dinner time. - FANTASY: You will never sound like your parents v.s.
REALITY: You will sound exactly like your parents.
BONUS:
FANTASY: Your kids will stand arm in arm and smile right at the camera v.s. REALITY: They will make silly faces and funny noises while jumping all around.
Parenting is the greatest journey you can ever experience and I wouldn’t trade it in for all the world. I love being a parent even when things get a little challenging. No matter how much you read or try to prepare for what kind of parent you will become, you will never truly know until you become one. Just know, follow your own gut and instincts because every parent is different and every child is different. Best of all it’s always a learning experience with each child.
Even after having my first child, I planned and prepared for my second baby’s arrival knowing most of those plans would go out the window or go a different direction. You think I would learn but the second child can be completely different experience than the first which is the best part about having each child. They are their own person and come along with their own ways, and challenges.
I think as long as we keep our children happy and healthy and not put added pressure on ourselves as parents, parenting is a beautiful life experience.
I have teamed up with Bassetts Vitamins and here to introduce their Family Life with More Colour campaign #lifewithmorecolour. Their campaign is promoting families to get sticky, messy and get those family fun activities flowing this summer. It really is about letting all the parenting pressures go and having fun together to make those memories that will last a life time. Bassetts Vitamins are a nutritionally-balanced supplement for every member of the family, from children through to adults. My children love the soft and chewy gummies and they have tasty liquid version for younger children. The best part there is no added sugar and contains only natural flavors which is a must for me as a parent. Come visit them on facebook, instagram and Bassettsvitamins.co.uk.
*This is paid collaboration.
This post is so so true. Aiming for perfect has made me so so ill. I’ve lost a very very special man because I couldn’t admit I needed help and tried to do everything. I love my daughter though and even if perfection isn’t reachable I’ve reached somewhere that’s ok. Lovely post.
Thanks Rosie, I am so sorry to hear that. I do think it’s hard with things like pinterest making life look easy and perfect and instagram but also putting pressure on ourselves to think we as parents can do everything ourselves and be super humans. We aren’t and live is dirty, mess, unplanned, unorganized. Houses will still stand unclean if we just relax a bit and realize life is more about being present, in the moment, loving, supportive, happy and fun with our kids. That’s all they will remember not how clean the house is, or how good you baked, or how perfect your outfit and hair is. I really have jumped a step back this summer and stopped putting too much pressure on myself of what is parenting fantasies and realites which is why I wrote this really. More of a reminder to myself to focus on chilling out with the kids and having more fun with them and letting other things not get to me so much. It’s hard when we aim so high and stress ourselves out. It’s not helping us or the family is it? Glad you have found that middle ground lovely.
Oh man so true! I think its important we don’t feel guilt either for our parenting fantasies not being our realities!
I know I think that’s the main problem in parenting today. We judge each other but most of all we judge ourselves. We have these parenting fantasies about how we want it to be and then when it’s not like that in our reality we feel like we have failed. It’s sad really but parenting is a learning process for us all I supposed each parent is different as much as each child is different.
Oh my goodness this is just perfect it had me smiling along nodding my head. With one child at preschool currently and one hiccupping away in my tummy I have been thinking of all the things i have done wrong and right with LB and what it’ll be like when this little bump arrives in a couple of weeks. My fantasies are so over the top-LOL! x
Oh yes those fantasies need to go out the window sometimes especially when the second comes along. I now do things I always said I would never ever do, life of a parent I suppose. hahaha My fantasies were always way too high to actually (always) come true. They do sometimes and it makes you feel like super mom on top of the world. But we put far to much pressure on ourselves.